"A Christian should be an Alleluia from head to foot." - St. Augustine
I'm about 12% Alleluia on any given day, but I'm working on it.

Seven Quick Takes – Oh! Christmas Tree?

— 1 —

We still haven’t found the Advent wreath, probably because I haven’t started looking. I mean, I have to work my way up to it. The garage is…not for the faint of heart. Plus, I threw out my back while bouncing down the stairs with my three-year-old, a short-term solution to the Cycle of Endless NO, but a long-term hazard to my health. So I’m forced – forced – to take long breaks, reading my book and sitting up with the heating pad.

I’m almost finished with Ellen Finnigan’s The Me Years , which I bought on Betty Duffy’s recommendation and am really enjoying so far. More on that later. Along with about ten other book reviews that I have in my mental queue.

— 2 —

Christmas card photo

We are, however, going to get our Christmas tree this weekend.

Now, I grew up with a proper understanding of the Christmas tree pilgrimage. We don’t just go to some store. NO. We make an afternoon - or perhaps a day - of it. Every year meant a trip out to Jack’s Creek Christmas Tree Farm to tromp all over the hillside looking for just the right tree. It’s funny how the first tree is usually perfectly fine but must be rejected out of hand, because it wouldn’t be a true adventure if it didn’t involve at least one argument about the tree.

Last year, my dear husband searched for a local Christmas tree farm and happened upon Cat Spring Farms, a perfectly lovely family-owned farm in Sealy (about an hour and a half from Houston). I rarely do smart things when it comes to planning ahead, but I did have the foresight last year to take a photo of the sign at the entrance, which is the only reason I was able to track it down again this year. They have hayrides, a fire pit for making S’mores, and horseshoes. It may not be the most efficient approach to spend an entire Saturday getting a Christmas tree, but it’s worth it.

Plus, while I’m at the Christmas tree farm, I’m not at my house, which means there is no way I could possibly be dealing with the garage.

— 3 —

Catholic parish website design

In website  news, I finished up my first Catholic parish website design a couple of weeks ago for St. Joseph Catholic Church in Plain City, OH. Sarah Reinhard was kind enough to contact me about working with their parish and I can honestly, non-snarkily say that I learned a lot. I’d love for you to take a look, and if your parish is in need of a website, please contact me!

— 4 —

I had vague hopes of doing Christmas cards this year, as I actually sat down and compiled a list of addresses last year, but alas – I accidentally bent the flash drive on which I’d saved a backup of the address list after our server went kaput. So I would have to start from scratch. And my “smartphone” has somehow decided that every single person I am connected to on Google Plus should be added to my Contacts as “unknown,” but my best friend from first grade should apparently be deleted altogether. Technology has conspired against me because it wants me to just start sending e-cards.

— 5 —

My kids won tickets to the Houston Aeros hockey game tonight via an art contest through the Texas Renaissance Festival. I was talking to my mom about it. “Oh! That’s nice…so, is it going to be at…where’s it going to be?”

“You were going to ask if the hockey game is going to be at the Renaissance Festival, weren’t you.”

“Yes. Yes, I was.”

Sadly, it’s not. Wouldn’t that be the best, though? I’m sure hockey in 85-degree weather, played by men in authentic Renaissance period wear, would be a far more exciting spectator sport, don’t you think? I bet there would be far fewer penalties, for one thing. It could be sort of like jousting…on ice.

— 6 —

Our parish hosts Catholic Date Night once a month, and last weekend was our first chance to go. This is a FABULOUS program. For $10/person, you get a gourmet dinner with wine, free babysitting (if you register in advance), camaraderie with other couples, and then a screening of an episode from Fr. Robert Barron’s CATHOLICISM video series. There’s a core team of couples who coordinate the cooking and I think my husband would have gladly spent the night in the kitchen. He loves to cook and enjoys making elaborate dinners – and it’s an easy way to make friends, pitching in with the dinner prep. We thoroughly enjoyed the evening and I would very much recommend this format for other parishes. (Especially the babysitting!) (We actually decided to go at the last minute after friends offered to babysit, but seriously – babysitting is key to getting parents of small children to come to parish activities.)

— 7 —

My husband’s office had a Christmas party last weekend, and that meant another night of going somewhere without the children. This marked a 200% increase in the number of times we’d gone out without the children this year. Yes, that means we’d only gotten a babysitter one other time the whole year. This is how pitiful we are.

Anyway, it was another great evening, even when I accidentally dumped my plate full of food onto the feet of his coworkers huddled around the fire pit. I like to make a vivid first impression.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Authentic Friendship: There’s No Comparison

Mary and ElizabethRachel said something really courageous at Mom’s Day Away, and I want to share it with you.

In front of a room filled – FILLED – with women, she said, “I actually enjoy keeping a clean house.”

And what was best about it was that she didn’t immediately follow up with “but, boy, let me tell you how bad I am at (insert random non-housekeeping skill).” She just kept going with her talk, which apparently also included the phrase, “serving doughnuts to homeless so fulfilling  versus serving math-cheese*,” according to my notes.

I loved it that Rachel was able to acknowledge her own strength in that area – and to put it in terms of “this is something I enjoy” – and not feel like she immediately had to put herself down. This is a skill I do not have.** It drives my husband bonkers that, upon setting out a meal for guests, I immediately have to point out how messy my house is and the fact that I just vacuumed for the first time in three weeks as they were pulling in the driveway.

This goes back to something Danielle touched upon, also – the fact that we women are so inclined to compare ourselves to one another. It’s SO HARD to avoid. Danielle advised us, “don’t compare your interior to their exterior,” and that’s so true.

Do guys do this? I don’t feel like they do, but what do I know? It seems to go along with being a subtext-detection-ninja, which I’d also argue is a skill set more predominant among women.

For me, I think it’s generally a defensive maneuver. If I point out the various flaws in my personality/house/children’s behavior, at least the listener will not assume I am oblivious to the problem. Never mind that the average listener probably didn’t notice/care about whatever it is I’m calling to her attention; I’m still covered in the event that she thought, “how can she not know that her shirt has a coffee stain on it?! I must cut off all communication with this horrid specimen of womanhood!”

But – as Danielle emphasized – that really isn’t fair to our families; to compare whatever our reality is to the perceived perfection of another woman’s life. And, of course, it completely obstructs any real friendship if we’re so busy deciding how we measure up against someone else instead of just dispensing with all of that. Not needing to build ourselves up at the expense of someone else, or to beat ourselves up over the ways in which we think we come up short.

I think of Mary and Elizabeth as the ideal of female friendship. I have an icon of the two women that I bought after my daughter’s extended stay in the NICU – I remember meditating upon the joyful mysteries, particularly the Visitation, while sitting by her little bassinet. That’s such a powerful memory for me – all of the friends who supported us through that ordeal, all of the moms who came up to the hospital or stopped by for a meal.

What a model these two saints can provide for us – how they rejoiced in one another’s happiness, delighted in one another’s company. That’s how we should be towards one another, too, rather than getting distracted by the superficial differences that can lead us down that path of “I could never be friends with so-and-so, she’s so much better than me at XYZ.”

* Have just realized she said “mac-n-cheese.” I prefer my interpretation.

**It occurs to me that I just did THAT VERY THING…it’s probably hopeless.

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